I loved this book. From the moment Emily confessed that she’d sometimes rather read People magazine than the Bible, but also mentioning that she would judge others who read People magazine more than the Bible, I knew this book was written for me. I could totally relate to many of the experiences Emily shared as well as the mask wearing tendencies.
The quote below dealing with commitments was so true of my heart that I have to really analyze my motives for everything I do. Am I agreeing to be involved in a ministry out of guilt or a ploy to beef up my good girl image? If I need to bow out, will my reputation suffer? Why do I need to worry about that?
As a good girl it’s hard to risk quitting commitments for fear of how it might look to those watching. Rather than listening to God’s gentle leading in those areas, I fear and I fret that my reputation as the dependable one or as the one who can handle things will be threatened.
I love, love, love the quote below. I needed to hear this. Of course, the comparison game keeps me living in shame over not spending enough time in the Bible each day (along with not spending enough time on home organization, meal preparation, exercising, teaching preschool for my little kids, and the list goes on and on).
There is a time for blankets and journals. There is also a time for gut-wrenching, on-your-knees soul searching; for joy unspeakable and peace unwavering and mourning with the ugly cry. Life is fluid, it ebbs and flows in cycles of busy and rest, crisis and joy.
Like Emily, I struggled (and continue to struggle) in this shift from woman who seems to have it all together to scatterbrained mother of five. I have never been disciplined in keeping journals and having a distinct quiet time at the same moment of each day (though I have had success for periods at a time), but I loved this quote which gives me so much freedom. What works for one person may not be the exact recipe for someone else. And Lord knows this up all hours of the night dealing with bodily fluids and who knows what else is exhausting. I cry out to God for strength, and He hears me. I don’t have to be curled up with my Bible, journal and pen in hand to spend time with Jesus. He is with me throughout the day, and I can converse with Him about my trials and triumphs. I do spend time in the Word as well, but the time of day and length of time varies from day to day.
I can already tell my little Meg, my second born, will probably not struggle with the people pleasing mentality that I have issues with. She is so free-spirited and creative, all while loving others and being gracious even when others are mean to her. I love seeing the personalities God has given each of my children develop as they grow.
Anyway, I read this book a few months ago and could certainly benefit from reading it again. I hope you read it too if you get the chance. Let me know if you love it as well.